♥ 21th Oct

I'm a extra-ordinary girl.
I wishes to be care and to be loved. 
My mom wants me to be independent and tough. =)
I know you loves me, mom. 
But, how can you beared to let your daughter leave her warmest house, and her loved one. 


I was enjoying the life with my aunts and uncle Roy. Althought I joked and I laughed in front them, but my hearts was not =(  
My sadness gain everyday and everytime, Its never stop. Idk why I have to use this life, this makes myself unhappy always, but I still have to keep going. 




                                                                  cheer me up  :>  

每一天, 我都很想他, 很想跟他聊天, 但是就不懂要聊什么, 也没什么东西聊..

所以时不时我就会发一些无聊的信息给他, 他都很少回复.. 

电话费很贵啊, 我知道..

所以我选择上网跟他聊, 我无时无刻都在线, 有时候晚上下线睡觉了. 心里却想爬起来看看他是否还在线上..

每天都在等他上线, 除了等待也还是等待. 即使知道机会很渺小, 但我还是等..

但是等到了也不懂要聊什么.. ")

每次满怀心事想跟他聊, 我有好多东西要跟他说, 很想告诉他我的开心, 很想告诉他我的不开心,  但往往因为他的不在乎, 让我选择把它们都收在心里..

我知道

我不是要他陪我聊天

我是想知道他的一切一切

他都在干什么, 他今天做了什么..

我很累, 我真的累了   

總有一些人，他們看上去整天都很開心，沒有煩惱，像個小孩，好多人都會羨慕他們，但其實不是這樣的。他們不想讓別人看到自己難過的一面，更沒有能力一個人獨處，因為當夜深人靜的時候，他不知道一個人會發生什麽事，坐在窗前冥想走過的點滴。


他們貌似很堅強，因為在別人看來，他們什麽事都能微笑著去面對，但事實上他們長著世界上最脆弱的心靈，只是長期的偽裝使得別人很難發現他們內心深處的創傷。


他們只想簡簡單單、快快樂樂的活著，期待並且相信每個人給的笑容都是真心的，希望身邊的人都是真正的喜歡自己。即使別人小小的意見，也會另他們難過好久，他們真的真的很介意，介意自己不被人喜歡。因為，他們總是為別人想的很多，對別人總是比對自己好；把能對喜歡的人好當做幸福，喜歡別人比喜歡自己多。


他們總是那樣，前一秒還傷心的流著淚，後一秒出現在朋友面前的時候，已經滿臉溢著燦爛的笑容。有人說她們是向日葵，是的，他們在意的人就像是太陽，在面對太陽的時候永遠是明艷的花瓣，而太陽照不到的背面，那悲傷藏得那麽好，不願被看見。


他們向往放縱自由的生活，卻必須為了誰很努力的朝另外的一個方向活著，很累很累，卻仍是心甘情願。離自己的夢境越來越來遠，不得不面對從未想過的爭奪和復雜，恐慌、不知所措。只有面對最信賴的人時，才會卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼淚。因為在他們心裏，笑就是開心，哭就是難過，接近就是喜歡，遠離就是討厭。但其實不是，他們明白了，心好傷，眼淚就沒忍住。哭過之後，笑笑得擦幹眼淚，說，沒關系，我可以做的很好的。


他們好像無所不能，好像總是不會有煩惱，好像什麽問題都能輕而易舉的解決，總是喜歡喜歡出現在流淚的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗著笑。而面對自己的問題，他們卻茫然無措，面對自己的悲傷，他們只會躲在人們看不見的角落裏慢慢由傷口越裂越大。


他們的想法非常簡單，說出來的就是心裏所想的，肚子裏不會拐七道八道的小彎，無心的話可能會引起別人的誤解。所以，請別記恨她們，他們從不願傷害誰，小小的錯誤就能讓他們懊悔很久。
他們其實非常單純，甚至你曾經給了他一個微笑她也會一輩子記得你的好，因此他們的世界觀其實也很簡單，他們很容易受蠱惑 ，請不要輕易的傷害他們的感情，因為一旦傷害了，那就將永遠彌補不回來！ 如果你身邊有這種人請你給予他（她）那怕是鳳毛麟角的那點關懷，讓他（她）知道這個世界沒有拋棄他們.....

♥ 13th Oct

You__!?


Sometimes I hate you, Sometimes I angry you
but... =)
Sometimes I miss you, Sometimes I need you and Sometimes I love you.

You planned my life, you planned the path I've to walk, you planned everything. 

I really thank you so much, But Why don't you plan a happy life for me? :-[ 

    _____________________________________________________

   

         ______________________________________

                                               
I smile everyday, every time and everymoment, in front the strangers. They thought I enjoying my now-life, because I smile and I laugh and talks joked in front them, and I'm happy.. But they don't no I drop my tears every lonely night. Switched off the light, lied on the bed, wondering what's my life going on? where's the avenue? where'd should I to stop over? 
My tears give me a company on the whole night, every night. Should I FML? Should I answer Yes?  

                                       




Take it easy_! what I always telling my mind, I have to move on. Althought annoying me? 


Because these really just the only-good-way to let me be.

♥ 5th Oct

owww. IloveHim badly. ;)


I backed to Malaysia, the times was flies quickly. I met up the guys in Penang on the first day I backed. Jia, Syeli and jiahua (I prefers called him huahua, he is HIS friend and I has been the first time met him on that day, he is cutee! >.< ) and sure HIM ~! I loved one ♥♥♥ 


Around 12.30pm something, our flight reached Penang International Airport, and I change my sim card immediately for contact my mom and him. But just a moments I switch on my phone, it was a phone calling from, not my mom and also not my dad, that's HIM ♥ owh.Definitely falls to him :D.


After we checked out, (me, and my two aunts) was sitting at outside waiting for my mom. She were late! Because she have some stuff to settled after just can fetched us up! (Because of my mom come late, so I have to delay the times to meet my friends up :( sorry ) At last, after half an hour, my mom reached then! I saw a pig running through to us, and I identify that it was my bro sooner.! HAHA! pigpig ♥
Next, we decided to get our brunch in TAO-cuisine. the Upscale restaurant that offer ALL- U- CAN- EAT buffet with full table service,  The restaurant includes specialties such as Japanese, Chinese, Thailand, and other foreign or ethnic food.
muahahah. fat fatter fattest then!!! >.<


After finish our brunch, I rushed to Gurney rapidly to meet them up, cause them was already there, sorry, I asked them to wait me on there on 3pm, but after 4pm I have just went to Gurney. so so so sorry bout that guys :D
When I reached Gurney, I direct up to 3rd floor for looking up Syeli, she was already been there and she was just alone >.<
Afterwards I met up Syeli, I just give HIM a call and told him I were reached and already at 3rd floor. :D By the way, I were damn exciting and scaring to meet him on our first sight after 3 months before I leaved Malaysia. >.< But It nice, after I saw him, his were holding my hand and look at me, therefore his warmest hand makes my fears gone :) muahaha. 

Times to back to AlorSetar, my home and my room was definitely touches me badly, I love it so much, Its sweet and warmest! Whatever is lousy and dirty :s Nobody clean the house! Mom was too busy with her job and very tired whenever knock off from job. So just let it be lousy and dirty =_= 

28th SEP 2010




THEIR's DAY ♥ 

Faye Goh and Khoon Tan 

them sweet >.<

          and now, I'm in Singapore :l         

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. 

♥ 19th Sep

“ you back to him? ”

“ ya =.= ”

“ already how many times? xD ”

“ LOL the third ”

I was back to him again. :)

I became a sucker to Love. Love was like oxygen. Love was like water. Love was like food. An element that I couldn't live without.

I choose to believe Love. I choose to believe Him.

He showered me with care and concern and I really felt pampered. My heart was melted again to him after a few chats. He told me he love me still, as long as he still keep me in his mind. I were aware it, but he hurt me again and again and lets me doubt on it. But at last, I choose to trust him.

Love is blind when two hearts is bind. Indeed very blind for me to see the truth. I was falling so hard falling so fast.. I couldn't breathe easy. Without him lying next to me,there was no air.

How did I fall into him so deeply.

No one told me Love could be this toxic till I met him, Chia Zhen Hau.

A November boy who were in tall, skinny, fair skin and bad had came unbidden into my world, my live.

and guides my life to sweet and sore >.<

One a day in last year, I received a friend requests msg from a strange numbers, as usual I just ignored it and don't even reply. But soon the strange numbers call to me, in that moments, I answered the call (normally i just place my mobile at one side and ignore it) but don't no why I press the green button. The most surprising me was I unexpectedly fallen into a chat with him. We joke and we laugh. :D

A good impression to him so I keep in touch to him. We text every day. Over the times, maybe the loneliness next to us were caused the special feeling between each other and drive us into a date. 

We love, we sweet, we hug, we kiss, we argue, we break up.   （=

I really hope I can forever to be your loved one, Baby don't hurt me again please

We challenge the distances, and we can do it, right? 

I feels very sorry to you, I can't give you a hug, a kiss in any time, any moment. 

If you want to go, just tell me. And I will )=

♥ 18th Sep

you makes me annoying you enough!
I'm not hating you but yes that, I dislike you. I can't even stand your pattern, your sounds and your personally. Its freaking fake and annoying to me. Honestly, I can't make a friend with you, I can't tolerate your actions! Everyday  every times, I were trying to just focus on my responsibility and ignored you. Whereas, suffered me then! *sigh 

It was very tired to stay with you, you makes my world blue, and makes me lazy pass my everyday. Just because of you, damn it. You spoiled my day! I wishes you can disappear on my sight as soon as possible and I don't need to have a stupid life because of you. I really understand I willing become more cheerful and happiest without you in my life.


I dislike people did ill behind me, if you want to know what am i doing, just ask from me. And sure I'll tell you! If I ignore to say out, that was what privacy for myself! Therefore, don't tried to cheat on me! Bitch, argg! you freaking pissed me off!
'' 井水不犯河水 '' don't you understand what it means! stupid la weh.. maybe your perception on me were '' ew, why tht girl so stupid?!! '' okay, I'm not stupid, I was trying my best to do all the things, just for my responsibility. I can't stand why that you can made light on those? Sorry, I really can't accept your mind. 
Muddle along from day to day, thats what you want.. Its freaking annoying me! imba !!!

So what, I can't do anything on you, I just can grumbling to my friends, my love )= 
I've to choose to picked up all the injustice, work hard and don't care on you. Thats was what just I can do on it.